the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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