i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
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got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
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Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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