Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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