is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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