I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
