He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
