Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
