Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
