Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize