He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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