I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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