why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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