Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
