and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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