Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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