I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
