My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Randomize
