Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
