just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
