when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
