Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry StanDarsh hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun

Fav 16 3450 800
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight

Fav 24 896 5182
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?

(609): View more from New Jersey

And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud

Fav 15 5676 987
share tweet
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.

Fav 7 2769 1497
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?

(903): View more from Texas

Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...

Fav 6 2738 910
share tweet
(971): View more from Oregon

I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity

Fav 4 1073 3103
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.

Fav 9 3246 1151
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.

Fav 6 914 421
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat

Fav 0 31 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT