when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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