Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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