haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
