His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
