we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize