i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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