Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
