You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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