he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
