you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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