I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
