your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
