i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
