He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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