More tranny stories later!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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