Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize