That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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