I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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