the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
