the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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