he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
