I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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