Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
