Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
