Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
