i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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