as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
