so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
