You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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