piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
