Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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