I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
