She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
