it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize