were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
