So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
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Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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