I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
