This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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