the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
