if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
