Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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