Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
