I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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