id be glad to
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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