Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize