if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
