Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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