Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
