Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
