but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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